The new season has started, and it got underway in some style.
Prez took the scenic route due to satnav error. Some would question what or maybe who caused this error? Tom certainly took advantage.
But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Four coaches in two divisions with two teams each:
East Division
Norse
Undead
Lizards
Chaos
West Division
Necro
Chaos Pact
Human
Skaven
Week One saw Robin's Lizards v Nicks Chaos, and Rob's Undead v Tom's Norse.
Rob compounded getting horribly lost on the way with a 2-1 loss to tom in the battle of the powergamers.
Having scored in turn six the Undead found themselves looking to a comfortable 1-0 lead at half time, but the Norse had other ideas. Dancing around their opponents with glee it was 1-1 at half time, and the Norse took a 2-1 lead midway through the second half. The Undead were looking good for a 2-2 draw but some great dodging and tackling left that dream dead on the field.
First blood, Norse.
The pure and chaste pairing of nick and robin saw a lucky one nil win for the lizards. A very tight first half saw a skink just sneak off with the ball and scramble in for a td on the stroke of half time. The Chaos players fought hard and vicious in the second half but couldn't force an advantage, the Lizardman coach was heard to mutter afterwards "Phew"
Sports fans should note, in 32 turns of bb only one cas was caused. To a mummy who did regenerate.
Tuesday 28 January 2014
Thursday 25 October 2012
Season 1.5??
Season 1.5 Week One
John The Craven's News Round
First things first. It shouldn't have happened but it did. That's so often the way, that often it goes unnoticed. Usually it comes down to the men in suits. Sometimes the wizards in suits. Either way, suits are the key to it all. Suits and politics.
It will go down in history as the season that never was, or was but wasn't. The crowd took a popular anthem as their cry for fairness, the media saw things a different way. Footage of that non-season was always backed by these haunting words:
Rise so high, yet so far to fall.
A plan of dignity and balance for all.
Political breakthrough, euphoria's high.
More borrowed money, more borrowed time.
Backed in a corner, caught up in the race.
Means to an end ended in disgrace.
Perspective is lost in the spirit of the chase.
No one quite knows how exactly that season came to be a none season, or how the teams were divided into two divisions. It was seen, witnessed even. But a hand of secrecy clouded the view.
Either way it came to pass that The Cravens had played four games and suffered many hideous trials in some kind of pre-season warm up campaign. A campaign that had seen them face today's opponents just two games ago. A game so bloody that a dead Craven took the MVP as a sign of the surprising lack of cowardice in that one.
The Karneth Cruelhearts hosted at a strange venue, on an evening dictated by the Networks. Even so 17000 fans turned out to scream for blood and gore. And maybe the odd touch down.
Your favourites and mine, The Cravens were outgunned to the point that Skitter Stab Stab found the nerve to turn out for the boys in Purple and Yellow. And what an impact he had on the game. The Cravens opted to receive first, and Skitter made the perfect play to put them 1-0 up half way through the first half. The Dark Elfs sensed a shoot out was in the offing so scored hard and fast themselves, just before half time. The Cravens had suffered a death to Whiff Whiff. He'd impressed in his early games with an MVP and a pass, and was starting to master the art of blocking before he was savagely cut down on the line of scrimmage by a rookie.
Still, undetered by the violence around him Skitter called for the ball and once again made it to the end one TOUCHDOWN!!!! 2-1 to the Cravens at half time.
The Second half started and things looked grim. Sure the Cruelhearts had lost a player or two to a block and a judicious (but not unnoticed) boot to the face, but the Cravens felt that it was likely to go from bad to worse. The Cruelhearts struck hard and fast, taking out Slarqx, the more promising of the two blitzers, who had bossed a few Dark Elfs previously with his Mighty Blows. For a moment he seemed to be lost to the world, only for the Doc to bring him back to life. Still, he wont be ready to play in the Craven's next game, and the score was 2-2.
An audacious plan was launched to see Da Warped Biggun pitch in with a touchdown again, but his luck failed him and left the Cruelhearts an easy score to go ahead for the first time in the game.
The Craven's set up for a goblin chuck but the Cruelhearts anticipated well and their defence was simply perfect. With two turns to go the coach came up with a different plan. Send as many players deep as possible and hope that the Dark Elfs couldn't mark them all. As it happens they could, but Smelly Steve spotted a chance that only a goblin could, and squirmed through the ranks into the endzone. The ball was deep in the Cravens own half but some quick feet got it to Slerqx in to Short Pass range and the crowd went absolutely mental as the Hellpit Craven's equalised with the last play of the game. 3-3 the score at the end, and coach Blocknroll
was keen to point out that he has been behind in most of the 8 draws in a row him and Avatar have played out.
Oh and the mvp for the Craven's? Yes, once again it went to the dead guy.....
Up next? Those jammy shites the Shankers..... stay tuned......
John The Craven's News Round
First things first. It shouldn't have happened but it did. That's so often the way, that often it goes unnoticed. Usually it comes down to the men in suits. Sometimes the wizards in suits. Either way, suits are the key to it all. Suits and politics.
It will go down in history as the season that never was, or was but wasn't. The crowd took a popular anthem as their cry for fairness, the media saw things a different way. Footage of that non-season was always backed by these haunting words:
Rise so high, yet so far to fall.
A plan of dignity and balance for all.
Political breakthrough, euphoria's high.
More borrowed money, more borrowed time.
Backed in a corner, caught up in the race.
Means to an end ended in disgrace.
Perspective is lost in the spirit of the chase.
No one quite knows how exactly that season came to be a none season, or how the teams were divided into two divisions. It was seen, witnessed even. But a hand of secrecy clouded the view.
Either way it came to pass that The Cravens had played four games and suffered many hideous trials in some kind of pre-season warm up campaign. A campaign that had seen them face today's opponents just two games ago. A game so bloody that a dead Craven took the MVP as a sign of the surprising lack of cowardice in that one.
The Karneth Cruelhearts hosted at a strange venue, on an evening dictated by the Networks. Even so 17000 fans turned out to scream for blood and gore. And maybe the odd touch down.
Your favourites and mine, The Cravens were outgunned to the point that Skitter Stab Stab found the nerve to turn out for the boys in Purple and Yellow. And what an impact he had on the game. The Cravens opted to receive first, and Skitter made the perfect play to put them 1-0 up half way through the first half. The Dark Elfs sensed a shoot out was in the offing so scored hard and fast themselves, just before half time. The Cravens had suffered a death to Whiff Whiff. He'd impressed in his early games with an MVP and a pass, and was starting to master the art of blocking before he was savagely cut down on the line of scrimmage by a rookie.
Still, undetered by the violence around him Skitter called for the ball and once again made it to the end one TOUCHDOWN!!!! 2-1 to the Cravens at half time.
The Second half started and things looked grim. Sure the Cruelhearts had lost a player or two to a block and a judicious (but not unnoticed) boot to the face, but the Cravens felt that it was likely to go from bad to worse. The Cruelhearts struck hard and fast, taking out Slarqx, the more promising of the two blitzers, who had bossed a few Dark Elfs previously with his Mighty Blows. For a moment he seemed to be lost to the world, only for the Doc to bring him back to life. Still, he wont be ready to play in the Craven's next game, and the score was 2-2.
An audacious plan was launched to see Da Warped Biggun pitch in with a touchdown again, but his luck failed him and left the Cruelhearts an easy score to go ahead for the first time in the game.
The Craven's set up for a goblin chuck but the Cruelhearts anticipated well and their defence was simply perfect. With two turns to go the coach came up with a different plan. Send as many players deep as possible and hope that the Dark Elfs couldn't mark them all. As it happens they could, but Smelly Steve spotted a chance that only a goblin could, and squirmed through the ranks into the endzone. The ball was deep in the Cravens own half but some quick feet got it to Slerqx in to Short Pass range and the crowd went absolutely mental as the Hellpit Craven's equalised with the last play of the game. 3-3 the score at the end, and coach Blocknroll
was keen to point out that he has been behind in most of the 8 draws in a row him and Avatar have played out.
Oh and the mvp for the Craven's? Yes, once again it went to the dead guy.....
Up next? Those jammy shites the Shankers..... stay tuned......
Tuesday 14 August 2012
Week One
John The Craven's Newsround
The first week of the inaugural season saw The Albion Coast League get off to a flying start. 14 teams took to the fields of doom, some with higher hopes than others. All praying for the blessings of Nuffle, to aid them in their quest for glory.
The Albion Coast is home to a bewilderingly large sample of races, all with a shared love of brawling, drinking and playing some ball.
The Chaos Engine comprises that most unholy alliance - the pact of chaos, threatening to spread destruction and mutation across the Albion Coast.
The Farmington Raiders see a collection of green skins, united in their love of raiding and smashing.
The Ankle Biters have been trapped in their mines for years, just itching to see the green fields and stadiums along the coast, and turn them red with their opponents blood.
Asininity is guided by a great necromancer, filling his team with the living, the ever-living, the undead and the unwilling. Can they pull together long enough to dominate?
The Scragg Shankers is made up of the only humans mad enough to face the other formidable races in the league. Their coach is said to feast on cyanide by night, will it rot his brain or inspire him to glory?
The Karneth Cruelhearts are a newly assembled squad of Dark Elves. Fit lean and agile, their poise is matched only by their malice and desire to win at all costs.
The Amaxon Eagles take to the field representing the fairer race. No, not goblins, but females. The Ladies of the Eagles will be no push over, tackling them could be a challenge.
The Deep Forest Defenders see's their coach come out of retirement with a new plan to conquer the fair shores of Albion, and the trademark threat of twin Wardancers.
The Cheeseland Browns love nothing more than running fast, hitting hard and the smell of a mouldy Stilton in their twitching nostrils.
And the Brutes from The Moot, may be as round as their ar tall but their coach has more than a few tricks up his sleeve when it comes to taking on the big boys.
The Spleen Bay Smackers and Emily's Elves made an early appearance, will the prospect of fortnightly mayhem lure them into the league full time or will their coaches hold the teams back for more occasional outings?
The Gooners are a team of proud High Elves, graceful and skillfull, but will they have the strength to survive the season as contenders?
And lastly your humble reporter brings you news of his home team, The Hellpit Cravens, a cowardly and evil axis of Skaven and Goblins, tainted by warpstone, and smelling worse than the Cheeseland Browns' favourite snack. Will the animosity between the races prove too much?
Much blood was spilled in the name of Nuffle, with The Brutes from The Moot and Asininity both weighing in with four casualties. The Halflings stunned the crowds, pulling off a 4-0 win as well. The coach of the Spleen Bay Smackers was seen scratching his head after the game wondering what had just occured. Da Warped Biggun scored the most unlikely of big guy touchdowns lumbering the length of the field to ensure the Hell Pit Cravens shared the points against the tricky pointed ear Wood Elfs.
The results of the first week:
Karneth Cruelhearts 2 - Gooners 1
Deep Forest Defenders 2 - Hellpit Cravens 2
Scragg Shankers 2 - Ankle Biters 0
Asininity 2 - Amaxon Eagles 0
Brutes from the Moot 4 - Spleen Bay Smackers 0
Cheeseland Browns 2 - Emily's Elves 1
Chaos Engine 2 - Farmington Raiders 0
The first week of the inaugural season saw The Albion Coast League get off to a flying start. 14 teams took to the fields of doom, some with higher hopes than others. All praying for the blessings of Nuffle, to aid them in their quest for glory.
The Albion Coast is home to a bewilderingly large sample of races, all with a shared love of brawling, drinking and playing some ball.
The Chaos Engine comprises that most unholy alliance - the pact of chaos, threatening to spread destruction and mutation across the Albion Coast.
The Farmington Raiders see a collection of green skins, united in their love of raiding and smashing.
The Ankle Biters have been trapped in their mines for years, just itching to see the green fields and stadiums along the coast, and turn them red with their opponents blood.
Asininity is guided by a great necromancer, filling his team with the living, the ever-living, the undead and the unwilling. Can they pull together long enough to dominate?
The Scragg Shankers is made up of the only humans mad enough to face the other formidable races in the league. Their coach is said to feast on cyanide by night, will it rot his brain or inspire him to glory?
The Karneth Cruelhearts are a newly assembled squad of Dark Elves. Fit lean and agile, their poise is matched only by their malice and desire to win at all costs.
The Amaxon Eagles take to the field representing the fairer race. No, not goblins, but females. The Ladies of the Eagles will be no push over, tackling them could be a challenge.
The Deep Forest Defenders see's their coach come out of retirement with a new plan to conquer the fair shores of Albion, and the trademark threat of twin Wardancers.
The Cheeseland Browns love nothing more than running fast, hitting hard and the smell of a mouldy Stilton in their twitching nostrils.
And the Brutes from The Moot, may be as round as their ar tall but their coach has more than a few tricks up his sleeve when it comes to taking on the big boys.
The Spleen Bay Smackers and Emily's Elves made an early appearance, will the prospect of fortnightly mayhem lure them into the league full time or will their coaches hold the teams back for more occasional outings?
The Gooners are a team of proud High Elves, graceful and skillfull, but will they have the strength to survive the season as contenders?
And lastly your humble reporter brings you news of his home team, The Hellpit Cravens, a cowardly and evil axis of Skaven and Goblins, tainted by warpstone, and smelling worse than the Cheeseland Browns' favourite snack. Will the animosity between the races prove too much?
Much blood was spilled in the name of Nuffle, with The Brutes from The Moot and Asininity both weighing in with four casualties. The Halflings stunned the crowds, pulling off a 4-0 win as well. The coach of the Spleen Bay Smackers was seen scratching his head after the game wondering what had just occured. Da Warped Biggun scored the most unlikely of big guy touchdowns lumbering the length of the field to ensure the Hell Pit Cravens shared the points against the tricky pointed ear Wood Elfs.
The results of the first week:
Karneth Cruelhearts 2 - Gooners 1
Deep Forest Defenders 2 - Hellpit Cravens 2
Scragg Shankers 2 - Ankle Biters 0
Asininity 2 - Amaxon Eagles 0
Brutes from the Moot 4 - Spleen Bay Smackers 0
Cheeseland Browns 2 - Emily's Elves 1
Chaos Engine 2 - Farmington Raiders 0
Thursday 26 July 2012
So the Albion Coast League will get underway unofficially on Monday, with the first of a series of social evenings involving great chat, some learning, and some drinks.
All are welcome! There's potentially 10 people coming, although we'd be happy with 4 or 6. It's not about size, but about fun. If you are interested get in touch via TFF, NAF, Fumbbl, Facebook, or email robincaddy@hotmail.co.uk
Monday 9 July 2012
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